If you’re single and staying out late this weekend, enjoy it while you still can.  Because closing down the bar is one of the things on’s list of “Things You Can’t Do Once You Have a Baby.”  Here are four more.

#1.)  Wear White.  No one really follows the whole “no white after Labor Day” rule anymore.  But new parents can NEVER wear white.

 You have to wear mostly dark clothes with patterns . . . or what’s referred to as “spit-up camouflage.”  And even once you’re kids are toddlers, you still have to worry about things like food, drinks, and paint.

 #2.)  Roll Out of Bed and Go.  According to The Nest, having even one kid will add about 30 minutes to your morning routine.  And that’s every day until they’re old enough to get ready by themselves.  So at least a solid decade if you have ONE kid.

 #3.)  Read Anything with Chapters.  This one’s kind of dumb, because obviously plenty of parents still read books.  But it’s a lot harder to get through 20 or 30 pages when you’ve got kids running around.

 So a lot of parents end up reading more magazines instead.

 #4.)  Watch Late-Night Comedy Late at Night.  You might, right after the baby comes . . . because you’ll be up all night anyway.  But after that, 11 p.m. is WAY past your bedtime.

 It you want to watch one of the late-night shows, you’ll have to Tivo it, and try to get to it the next day.  But chances are, you’ll have so much more to do, you won’t have time for that either.


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