John Wayne

John Wayne

With “Cowboys & Aliens” opening on Friday, decided to put together a list of the 10 Least Realistic Cowboy Movies of All Time. “Cowboys & Aliens” clocked in at #7.

This doesn’t necessarily mean BAD, just unrealistic. And really, their #1 pic, the 1970 midnight movie classic “El Topo”, is a MASTERPIECE of insanity.

#1.) “El Topo”, 1970 (–The spiritual journey of a gunfighter. Or something like that. This one truly defies description. You have to see it to understand why.)

#2.) “Billy the Kid vs. Dracula”, 1966 (–Yes, this movie was actually made . . . as was a companion piece called “Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter”. It’s not clear how that one escaped this list.)

#3.) “The White Buffalo”, 1977 (–Charles Bronson, as Wild Bill Hickok, teams up with Crazy Horse to hunt down a white buffalo.)

#4.) “Back to the Future Part 3”, 1990

#5.) “Westworld”, 1973 (–A cowboy robot at an adult fantasy theme park goes haywire and starts killing. It’s sort of a precursor to “Jurassic Park”, which is no surprise, since Michael Crichton wrote and directed it.)
(–“The Simpson” did a parody of it where the robots at Itchy and Scratchy Land malfunction.)

#6.) “Wild Wild West”, 1999 (–Definitely one of Will Smith’s biggest bombs.)

#7.) “Cowboys & Aliens”, 2011

#8.) “Undead or Alive: A Zombedy”, 2007 (–The title . . . along with the fact that Chris Kattan is in it . . . says it all.)

#9.) “Shanghai Noon”, 2000 (–Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan fight bad guys in the Old West.)

#10.) “The Terror of Tiny Town”, 1939. (–This one is played straight, but the cast is made entirely of LITTLE PEOPLE. Except technically, they’re not Little People . . . because “big people” don’t exist in this universe.)

You’ll find the list, along with write-ups and video clips for each movie, here.


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